I am so sick of seeing amazing women settle for men or shall I say “boys” who clearly do not deserve them. The longer you stay in this relationship the more it will affect you, in ways you won’t even realize until it is too late. This actually goes true for men who settle for women who don’t deserve them as well.
Most of the reasons are just denial, a sense of insecurity, or comfort. All of these are not reasons to stay with someone that does not deserve you. The longer you stay with this person the longer it will be before Mr. Right comes along.
I went through a short period of time in my life where settling for the next best thing became a norm. It became so bad that I started to mistake lust for love. Trying to make someone into who you want is not as easy as it seems. Which obviously was one of my mistakes.. You shouldn’t try to change people, and it’s rude to try. Sometimes you get stuck accepting things you would never accept because you just “love” a person so much… this is still not acceptable. This is SETTLING. Accepting things you would never accept is NOT okay. Did you forget that your happiness is important too? They obviously don’t care about your happiness if they are doing something you don’t want them to do… so why are you sacrificing your happiness for them? Obviously there will be times when you need to choose your battles wisely and whatnot but if you aren’t married to the person then WHAT are you doing?
I am very guilty for constantly settling and have learned countless lessons along the way. And the fact is simple: if you settle, you will NEVER be happy. Something will always be missing. If you don’t like the way someone is or the things they do… chances are they are not going to change. I used to be a firm believer that people cannot change and some people actually do… but they must have it in their heart to change for themselves NOT for anyone else. If someone changes for YOU, it will only be temporary. So please remember if you don’t like something about someone knowingly prior to the relationship, do not be upset if they will not change.. you only have yourself to blame for thinking they will.
In all honesty you can’t completely blame the other person. If that’s how they are, then that’s how they are. Rest assured someone else out there will be equivalently good for them, just not you.
These simple rules should always be followed:
Faviesss:
Life is all about risks & it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back & wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever.
Changing is a part of life and changing causes people to reevaluate what they want from life.
The moment you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
It’s dangerous to use the term “soul mate” it implies there’s some magical element that we have no control over, like fate or destiny. I think holding on to beliefs like that stops us doing the real work. And the fact is, I think you’ll find there are many, many people out there you could easily be happy with. – Serendipity
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything, it just messes with your mind and steals your happiness.
Sometimes no matter how much you like someone, their just not good for you. -The Hills
You can try your hardest, you can do everything, but sometimes people just aren’t worth trying over anymore, they aren’t worth worrying about, it’s important to know when to let go of someone who only brings you down.
fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them.
Everything changes. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. It’s unavoidable; it’s necessary. Clinging to what used-to-be is the farthest thing from healthy. Moving on, adapting, that is the key to surviving the day to day changes that have the tendency to change everything.
Most of the reasons are just denial, a sense of insecurity, or comfort. All of these are not reasons to stay with someone that does not deserve you. The longer you stay with this person the longer it will be before Mr. Right comes along.
I went through a short period of time in my life where settling for the next best thing became a norm. It became so bad that I started to mistake lust for love. Trying to make someone into who you want is not as easy as it seems. Which obviously was one of my mistakes.. You shouldn’t try to change people, and it’s rude to try. Sometimes you get stuck accepting things you would never accept because you just “love” a person so much… this is still not acceptable. This is SETTLING. Accepting things you would never accept is NOT okay. Did you forget that your happiness is important too? They obviously don’t care about your happiness if they are doing something you don’t want them to do… so why are you sacrificing your happiness for them? Obviously there will be times when you need to choose your battles wisely and whatnot but if you aren’t married to the person then WHAT are you doing?
I am very guilty for constantly settling and have learned countless lessons along the way. And the fact is simple: if you settle, you will NEVER be happy. Something will always be missing. If you don’t like the way someone is or the things they do… chances are they are not going to change. I used to be a firm believer that people cannot change and some people actually do… but they must have it in their heart to change for themselves NOT for anyone else. If someone changes for YOU, it will only be temporary. So please remember if you don’t like something about someone knowingly prior to the relationship, do not be upset if they will not change.. you only have yourself to blame for thinking they will.
In all honesty you can’t completely blame the other person. If that’s how they are, then that’s how they are. Rest assured someone else out there will be equivalently good for them, just not you.
These simple rules should always be followed:
- List qualities you would like in a significant other and seek out to find that.. sure not everyone will have these qualities… but if you pick 3 important things that the person MUST have, this is a start.
- Don’t date someone you couldn’t potentially see yourself with in the long-term… why are you wasting your time?
- Know how you would like to be treated and what you want from a significant other
- LOVE yourself
- And do NOT EVER settle for anything less.
Faviesss:
Life is all about risks & it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back & wonder what they would have, or could have had. No one waits forever.
Changing is a part of life and changing causes people to reevaluate what they want from life.
The moment you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
It’s dangerous to use the term “soul mate” it implies there’s some magical element that we have no control over, like fate or destiny. I think holding on to beliefs like that stops us doing the real work. And the fact is, I think you’ll find there are many, many people out there you could easily be happy with. – Serendipity
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything, it just messes with your mind and steals your happiness.
Sometimes no matter how much you like someone, their just not good for you. -The Hills
You can try your hardest, you can do everything, but sometimes people just aren’t worth trying over anymore, they aren’t worth worrying about, it’s important to know when to let go of someone who only brings you down.
fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them.
Everything changes. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. It’s unavoidable; it’s necessary. Clinging to what used-to-be is the farthest thing from healthy. Moving on, adapting, that is the key to surviving the day to day changes that have the tendency to change everything.
